Change of Plans..

After many tears, fasting, and prayer, I ended up back at home. .... I'm still trying to cope with everything, and it's been really hard for me to leave the MTC, but I knew it was what I needed to do, here's why: My Third Week at the MTC- I woke up from a strange dream. I was at home greeting my older brother who just returned from his mission, which I thought was weird because I wouldn't get home for another 7 months after he got home. I thought when I woke up, maybe something is wrong with my family, that both of us would be home? I tried to ignore the feelings and thoughts that were going through my mind, because it was just dream. Well, it happened to be my preparation day so we all went to the Temple. During the whole duration of the Temple session, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so worried about my family, and hoping that everything was alright. I sent my mom and email asking if anything was going on, and if everyone was safe, she responded the next day and told me everything was fine. So that was a relief, however I still had so many thoughts that came to mind like, "Why was I home before my brother?" and then another thought, "Do I need to be home?" And immediately after that thought came into my head I tried to get it out. I didn't even want to think about coming home, because I loved SO much what I was doing and where I was. Sure, it's hard. Sure, you have little communication from family and friends, but I loved every minute of it. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be learning in such an environment where you had no worldly influences around to distract you. You were completely dedicated to the work, and the Spirit there is incredible. So I ignored that thought. The next day I still felt so strange, so I got on my knees and prayed like I've never prayed before, asking, "Do I need to be home?" And I can't even describe to you the way I felt after I prayed. You read in the Scriptures how if you pray for something that is right you'll feel a burning in your bosom, something like that. Never in my life have I experienced that burning before, until then. I seriously felt like there was a fire going on inside of me. I was overwhelmed with peace, comfort, and warmth, rather than the confusion I was feeling before. It took a minute for me to register everything, and being the emotional wreck that I am, started to cry because I already knew what my answer was, and it wasn't what I wanted.. at all. I didn't want to jump into anything just then, so for the next week I fasted every other day, prayed more than I've ever prayed before, attended the temple every week, and did everything I could so that maybe I'd get a different answer. It never came. I talked to all of my leaders, teachers, and other missionaries in my zone. My Coordinating Sister shared with me experiences where she had three friends who all had promptings to go home, and everything worked out for them as they obeyed the prompting. They all soon found out why they were prompted to go home, and were so grateful they listened. She then told me that I needed to follow what I knew was right. My teachers told me the same thing. They trusted me, and knew that I didn't just want to go home because it was too hard or I missed my family and wanted to be home with them. They truly felt that the right thing for me to do was to trust in the Lord, and do whatever he asks. I talked to the District President, he talked to my parents, and trusted that I would make the right decision. To make a long story a little shorter, this whole process went on for about 3 weeks. I was able to talk with my parents on the phone, and they told me to wait it out until the end of the MTC, and see if anything would change. I agreed, mostly because I realllly wanted to stay, and I knew that's what my parents wanted me to do too. Although, I felt guilty knowing then that I needed to go home. But the next day I get a letter from my parents saying that they have been thinking, praying, and pondering about my situation and what I needed to do, and came to conclusion that if I knew exactly what I needed to do, I needed to do it. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and we don't always understand the 'why' at first, but you just have to put all of your trust in the Lord, that by obeying Him you will be blessed. So, when my parents got home from their vacation they came to pick me up. And here I am. Embarrassed to be home, mostly because I worry too much about what people think, and I know a lot of them will talk and make up their own assumptions of why I cam home. It's been so hard for me to cope with this. I've been through a lot of difficult trials in my life, but this one is by far the hardest. I've never wanted something so much, just to find out a month later that the Lord has different plans for me. I don't know what His plans are, but his ways are higher than mine. I put my complete trust in Him, and I know that He'll come through to bear me up. So, to sum this all up- I didn't come home because I was unworthy, selfish, lazy, or missed my family. I came home because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it's what the Lord wanted me to do. Lessons Learned- We don't always understand the reason 'why' but I know that by following and trusting in the Lord, he will let us know why in His own due time. I've learned so much in the short 6 weeks I was in the MTC. I've learned the importance of reading and studying your scriptures every day. I've learned that prayer and fasting is so important. I've learned that I need to increase my faith in the Lord, and never to doubt. I've made so many life-long friends. Friends that I know will help me through thick and thin. I can't even begin to tell you how I've grown so much closer to the Lord this past month. It was an incredible learning experience for me, and I'm looking into the future with a bright attitude not knowing what I need to do yet, but knowing that everything will be just fine. D&C 6:36- Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not, fear not.

you say goodbye, and i say hello.

this is my last post for eighteen months!
as much as i hate goodbyes, i'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life.

my lovely sister will be updating my new blog with emails and pictures that i'll send from the field- you can view them at http://www.sisterlaurelalenarasmussen.blogspot.com/

also, if you have the desire to write me (which i hope is often!) here are my addresses:

MTC mailing address- (I'll be here until May 3rd)

Sister Laurel Alena Rasmussen

MTC Mailbox # 239

TX-HOUS 0503

2005 N 900 E

Provo, UT 84604-1793

*If you go to DearElder.com find the select a mission arrow and click on Provo MTC and then click write a letter it's free- and they deliver it the next day. Pretty sweet!

Houston Mailing Address (from May 3rd 2011-September 2012)

Sister Laurel Alena Rasmussen

Texas Houston South Mission

4627 Austin Parkway

Sugar Land, TX 77479-2146

Email:

laurel.rasmussen@myldsmail.net

Have a wonderful year and a half, and I'll do the same!!

Houston, I hope you're ready for me!

reliving childhood mem's.

remember starlite skating??

remember how that was the coolest place to be??

remember how you would get the butterflies everytime they announced that the snowball skate was approaching??

and hoping that a cute boy would ask you to skate with him?? (but most of the time they ended up being creepy boys with sweaty hands)

well, i do. and i went back last weekend to relive those memories. but only because it was my niece's 10th birthday party. regardless, i had fun. and i want to go again. who's in!

My sister still has it goin on!

two weeks.

that's the mtc countdown.





and i {kind of} can't believe it.





but i'm so excited, like really.




and i won't be able to see any of you for a year & a half, which is okay because {a missionary is someone who leaves their family for 2 years (or 18 months) so others can be with theirs for eternity.}




& that makes it all worth it.

just one of those days..

Hopefully by tomorrow i'll 'be okay'

on the bright side- i learned how to post multiple youtube videos in one post.
(don't judge i'm technologically challenged.)

I can't think of a title.

[Seriously, blogger should make titles optional. I can never
think of anything clever to say. I just have a bunch of random thoughts put into
a blog post. But if I were to get engaged, or married, or just found out the
gender of my baby, or had my tonsils taken out, I could see where a title would
be appropriate.]

I have all my missionary stuff bought. (kind of)

My dad surprised me with my very own tomtom to take to houston! probably thought i'd get lost without it.. probably he's right.

I got all of my required shots.. my shoulders still hurt.

I was listening to Ingrid's take on "can't help falling in love with you"... love it, maybe even more than the original. my apologies, elvis.

I was super pleased with the john mayer pandora station today. especially when babyface and boys II men made an appearance. genius!

got me some new shoes for the mish. so comfortable without being too grandma, know what i mean?

I leave in three weeks and 6 days. my farewell is in 1 week and 3 days.

ellen is my favorite talk-show host.

I'm kind of addicted to planners. it feels so good to check off a task i've completed. i'll write down something like 'eat lunch' cause i'm almost 100 percent positive that it will get checked off, and i can feel like i've accomplished something in the day.

love this talk by president monson. goes along with the blogpost that i published the other day.

And last of the ramblings, I love this video. The future is bright, don't look back. A good message for anyone.

On a Scale of 1-5..

5. I Love it

4. I like it

3. It's okay

2. Not okay

1. Definitely not okay

(got it?)

• You have to remind your landlord to return your deposit money after your lease was up over a month ago. = 1
• You get back in touch with a longtime friend and they're still the same sweet person that you knew back in elementary school. = 5
• You miss out on a dessert party because your little sister leaves her homework in the car that you drove. = 2
• You buy your shoes you expect to wear on your mission, walk around in them for a day, and realize they're not comfortable at all. Infact, they leave your ankles bloody and blistered (tmi? probably.) = 1
• Thoughtful emails from my grandma. =5
• Finishing the last book of the series. = 4 (Hunger Games Trilogy.. and I loved how it ended.)
• Sunday naps. = 5
• Craving a PB&J sandwhich all day, making one, and it doesn't even hit the spot. (probably because the peanut butter expired a year ago.. oh well.) = 3
• Getting some lunch, going to the temple, and cupcakes afterwards with my mom. = 5
• and Beating my sister at a dance off for xbox kinect. = 4

Pretty well-rounded week, I'd say.

Can I go back to Arizona-

Where the sun shines every day & the sunsets look like this every night.

[Playing at the park with little Brody.]

Please?

Sorry to Break it to You, But..

:)

It's Always Sunny in Ph..oenix

I've been in Arizona since Monday and, well.. I'm in love. Seriously 70's and sunshine in Mid-January feels like I've died and gone to Heaven. My sister has a pool in her backyard, and it's all I can do to keep from jumping in it! She says it's not warm enough to swim; but I beg to differ. This is definitely swimsuit appropriate weather for someone from Idaho.

Anyway, the reason I'm here... Babysitting! My sisters are definitely keeping me busy with over-night babysitting jobs. My sister and her husband went to Utah, (where it's cold) while I stay here, (where it's warm) and watch their kids for three days. It's only the first day, but I've been having such a fun time!

Little Brody (2) and I went out to lunch and shopping while Miss Avery and Jace were at school. I should really take Brody out shopping with me more often. He was such a sweet boy! I would walk down the aisles and pick out a shirt to see if he approved and everytime he would respond, "I don't wike dat." So I didn't buy it, or anything else that he didn't approve of. haha.

I'm actually pretty good at navigating here too, which is pretty shocking actually. It was just last year when I overcame my fear of driving on the Salt Lake freeways.. Now I'm driving all over in Phoenix and soon to be Houston! :o

Back to babysitting: So, as I was reading to the kids out of the Book of Mormon story book, we left off at the story of the 3 Nephites. Jace's eyes got huge when he realized that people from that long ago are still living today and until the Second Coming. So during his prayers he said, "Bless that I won't die until the Second Coming. And Bless that my family won't die until the Second Coming." haha he's so sweet. I also remember my sister telling him about the three levels in the Celestial Kingdom, so now he says, "Bless that I can be a good boy so that I can make it to the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom." Seriously, a 7 year old praying about this! He's definitely going to make it, he's the sweetest boy ever and is so conscientious of everything he does and makes sure that he's a good boy so that he can live in the Celestial Kingdom with his family. It was a humbling experience for me too, he's made me want to better myself.

I have pictures to come, but for now; something AWESOME!

Disney Princess Classics.

Avery and I watched Beauty and the Beast today and it totally brought me back to my childhood. Aladdin is probably my favorite though with Beauty and the Beast following close behind. These movies are pure genius and awesome.