guilty pleasures

• justin bieber, no shame. and i usually hate it when pop singers come out with a new album, because nine times out of ten it sucks, but i love j bieb's new stuff. "show you awffff, tonight i wanna show you awfff."
• making a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies, just so i can eat the dough. pretty sure nothing made it to the oven. 
• i could probably watch all the seasons of the o.c. in one sitting. but only if i had a huge bowl of cookie dough. (wow, i'm making myself sound like a huge fatty.)
• blue-eyed, dark hair boys men. mmHmmm 
• staying up all night watching old school rap music videos on youtube. i.e: gangsta's paradise, check yo self, regulate, mo money mo problems.. just to name a few. 
• stargazing by myself, surprisingly therapeutic. would be nice to have some opposite gender company, but what'err. 
• people watching. at walmart, the dmv, anywhere! people are crazy.
• non-committal cuddle buddies, just need one of those..
• boots. i literally have to practice major self-control every time i see a cute pair of boots. my bank account just can't handle it. 
• re-reading text messages that made me smile. please tell me i'm not the only girl that does this?! #singlegirlproblems 

anyway, i was just bored.. 

Tribute to my sweet Grandma Verda.

...I was reading my grandma's journal today. She passed away when I was in the ninth grade, I miss her more than words can say. I'm so grateful she was so diligent in writing in her journal so she could have something to pass on to her children/grandchildren. I knew she was an incredible woman, but after reading her day-to-day experiences along with her testimony, I know for a fact that my grandma was definitely an angel on earth. One line in her obituary that caught my attention, and one that I haven't ever forgotten, was that she did many temple endowments numbering into the many hundreds during her retirement years. She lived in Grace, Idaho and the closest temple was a little over an hour away. I can't tell you how many journal entries I read that said, "Today I went to the temple." She was always serving, whether in the temple or at home. I want and aspire to be just as my grandma was.
She was witty and had the cutest sense of humor. I remember I was wearing a "Rusty" brand name t-shirt, and my grandma asks, "Laurel, who's Rusty?! Is that your boyfriend?" hahaha I was probably in the 4th grade, tops. "No grandma, it's just the brand of my shirt...." I remember whenever we would spend the weekend at her house, there was ALWAYS food on the stove. She was the best cook. Can we just talk about her creamed corn, homemade strawberry jam & bread, and chicken noodle soup for a sec? TO DIE FOR! And reading in her journal, she would mention that she had been cooking all day knowing that we would be coming over, and she loved doing it. She loved company and someone to visit with.
She would tell me stories of when I was a little girl, I loved that the most. My favorite one was when I was probably two, and I guess I was a really bad kid during church, (who would have thought!?) but every time my dad would take me out of sacrament meeting, I'd yell "Bishop, save me!!!" Or "BYE BISHOP!" and wave. Gall, I was such a cute kid. ;)
I remember the sweet and caring person that my grandma was. Every one knew her and every one loved her. I remember the last words she said to me before she passed away, that I still hold on to. I've had a few very sacred experiences since then where she has been my guardian angel, if you will. And I know that to be true. I remember the song we sang for her
funeral; "How Great Thou Art", which
just so happened to be hymn #86, the age
when she passed away. But how fitting that
song was to her. She was so great.
    I love you Grandma Verda.
God be with you till we meet again!

This is the only picture I could find of my grandma on my computer. But isn't she lovely? Her and my mother. 

twenty-one questions. minus ten.

Cute Lauren nominated me to do a questionnaire, if you will. 

here are the rules:

a. list 11 things about yourself

b. answer the questions the nominee created for you

c. choose 11 (or so) of your own favorite blogs to nominate

d. create 11 questions for them (or use the previous questions)

e. let them know they've won

1. Every time I hear Reba McCentire's voice, my day is automatically ruined. Don't know how it all began, but I can't stand that chick. 

2. I am terrified of being alone. Sometimes I like to do things by myself and I'm very independent, but I could never live alone. Too quiet, and that's when I start hearing noises. . . dun dun dun.

3. I'm baby hungry. Which isn't good, because it usually takes two to 'tango', and in order to 'tango' I would probably definitely need to be married. (we're all mature adults here, right?)

4. My idea of a perfect vacation is camping. Betcha did not see that comin! But seriously, I wish I did more things outdoors with guys who know how to work and operate a gun. (safety first..)

5. I have the best job in the world. Like this week for example: My boss is out of town, so I'm getting paid to hang out with his wife while we go to her daughter's soccer games. Jealous yet? And it's salary pay. And I'm getting paid more than I was working full time as a legal assistant. And I'm only "working" 15-20 hours a week. If you weren't jealous then, I'll bet you are now! 

6. Plum and gray will be my wedding colors, it's already been decided on. And they will be the colors of the future master bedroom. 

7. The fourth of July is my favorite holiday. 

8. I'm in love with the Arizona winter weather. 65 degrees and sunny in December? Okay! 

9. If I don't have perfume on, I feel naked. That, and earrings. 

10. Along those same lines, I could probably fall in love with someone solely based on the scent of their cologne. Fun fact: My favorite smell was the Hollister cologne for men, then my dad started wearing it.. so every time I'm cuddling with someone who smells like that, I think of my dad. So that's a little awkward.. 

11. I'm a terrible dancer, but so what! I'm always the first one on the dance floor. And I'm awkward with my movements; but you gotta fake it till you make it. and I made it. I think.

B) answer the questions the nominee created for you- 

here they are...

 what is your favorite christmas tradition? Hands down.. "The Annual Rasmussen Lighting Ceremony". Quick summary: Every year my dad goes all out with Christmas decorations. He's out there for hours on end putting up Christmas lights. So each year on Thanksgiving, when the sun goes down, the ceremony begins. To start it off, my dad lights up his (probably illegal) fireworks, so there's a little firework show for a solid ten minutes, then he turns on all the lights at once. We're all in our cars and we drive around the house honking our horns, chanting Christmas Carols, and praising my dad for all of his hard work and dedication. Neighbors probably hate us, but it's my favorite tradition hands down. This year we actually invited the neighbors to join in on the tradition and we had a good turn out. Lots of honking, which was good. 

 what color best fits your personality? Well if we're talking about the color-coded personality thing, then 50% blue and 50% white. Although, I'd like to think that I have yellow in me. Come on, imma fun girl! 

do you like mustaches?  honestly... facial hair is super attractive, and if a man can grow a full-on mustache, it's pretty sexy. Although, I don't like them. Mustaches belong to the men who drive the vans with no windows. 

what is number one on your Christmas list? My Christmas was Hawaii! And that was perfect. I would also like to go home for Christmas. Also, all I want for Christmas is you. And by you, I mean a boy who probably isn't reading this anyway. 

n'sync or backstreet boys? This is the hardest decision. My heart belongs to both, but probably more so with N*SYNC, and that's only because Justin Timberlake is still hot. 

what is your favorite physical trait? on myself? Well, since I don't have beautiful long legs, I'll have to go with the back of my head, cause it's pretty ridiculous. (yo, can I have yo numbah?)

hot chocolate or apple cider? APPLE CIDER! Ohhh my I'm craving some bad. Plus it smells just like Christmas, if that's even possible. 

if you could drop everything and go anywhere, where would you go? Anywhere where I'd have good company. 

what is your favorite movie? 500 Days of Summer... refer to my last post. But if we're going Christmas edition, then I'll go with Elf and The Holiday 

who is your biggest role model? Aside from my mother, there's this lady whom I have never met before. Hearing stories about the trials she's been through and how she overcame them was very humbling to me. A role model to me, is someone who endures well. Sometimes that's not always easy for me. 

what is your favorite picture? share it? The infamous MTC district picture. I've shared this many times, but I loved these people and that place so much. Means the world to me. 

eleven new questions: 

1. Biggest fear?

2. Guilty pleasure?

3. Celebrity Crush?

4. If you could trade places with anyone who would it be?

5. Someone you'd like to meet?

6. Sweet or salty?

7. The funniest thing you've heard all day?

8. Favorite holiday?

9. One of the seven senses you couldn't live without?

10. A song you never get tired of hearing?

11. Favorite childhood memory?

I hereby tag the following: 

1. Leah Meacham 

2. Josie Thompson

3. Sarah Klein

4. Kari Jenkins 

5. Ali Jones

6. Victoria Farnsworth

7. Lachelle Lopez (start blogging again, hint hint)

that's all I can think of. Blogger friends, come at me! Let's boycott this facebook nonsense and bring some blogging back into the world! 

It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

"Do you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?"

500 Days of Summer is easily the greatest movie of all time. Don't even try to debate me on that, either. 

I'm a little upset though, I feel like the producers should have at least made sure if it was okay with me to use my life story for their movie. A little compensation would have been nice, but I'll let it slide. Even though I should sue for copyright purposes. But seriously, that movie is my love life (or lack thereof), compacted into a 90 minute movie. 

For those of you losers (just kidding, not really) who haven't seen it, I'll give you the super condensed version: Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl flirts, but does mention that she doesn't believe in love and doesn't like relationships and labels. Girl initiates a makeout sesh in the copy room. Boy is infatuated. Girl keeps egging it on. Boy and girl hold hands in IKEA and do a lot of other inappropriate acts of immorality. (which I can't relate to, just for the record..) Girl slowly starts drifting away from boy. Boy doesn't know why. Boy beats up other boy at the bar for hitting on the girl. Girl gets upset and calls things off. Boy gets upset because he thinks they're a couple. Girl comes over to boy's house later that night to apologize. Girl spends the night and every thing is good again. A few weeks pass, and girl has another melt-down at the pancake house, calls things off again. Boy goes through a state of depression and finds himself at the convenience store stocking up on booze and twinkies (R.I.P) to ease the pain. Boy runs into girl after breakup on a train ride to a co-worker's wedding. Girl says hi and invites him to get some coffee with her. Boy agrees. Boy and girl talk, laugh, and joke the entire time. They dance, they hug, and boy thinks that things are back to normal. Girl invites boy to her house party and boy is on top of the world, again.

"Tom walked to her apartment, intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He believed that this time his expectations would align with reality... "

Boy goes to the party with the expectation that they're a couple again. Girl is actually engaged to be married to some other guy. Boy sees the ring on her finger and storms out. Boy has a melt-down at work and quits. Boy comes across the (now married) girl at the park one day and they share a heart-to-heart convo. Boy is on his way to an interview. Boy meets another girl, whose name just so happens to be Autumn. (Well played, writers.) Boy probably ends up dating that girl, but the movie ends, so we'll never know.

In summary: It's not the fact that girl never loved boy. It's the fact that she led him on the entire time when she had no intentions of being his girlfriend, and didn't mention anything about being engaged. That's just cruel!
Girl: "We're just friends..."
Boy: NO! Don't pull that with me! This is not how you treat your friends!"
If you didn't catch on, I'm the boy in this story. Except I don't run into attractive members of the opposite sex at job interviews.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that parallel between that movie and my life. Good stuff, love dating. Love it so much. (I'm still unbelievably happy though, don't get me wrong.) 

And to end my night, I think I'll watch that movie again for the second time this week and stuff my face with homemade cookie dough truffles.

#stillsingle 

then & now

Holy flashback! I don't even know how I stumbled upon old music that I listened to in Jr. High, but I did. I was browsing YouTube for some jams that would get my creative juices flowing so I could start blogging again. (I hate that I always make promises that I'll be better at blogging, and then a month goes by.. and another.. and another....) It's not that I don't have an exciting life, 'cause for the first time in my life I really do! I have a lot to say, it's just trying to figure out how to say it-- which is why I could never be a writer, it'd take me decades to finish a book. 

I had quite the day today, though. I caught myself thinking about my past; where I was, where I worked, what I was doing, where I was going, etc. And I connected it to my life right now. Essentially how the events from my past have shaped and molded me into who I am today. How insightful of me, right?!

But really, that saying that we all love to hear, "everything happens for a reason", is so true. I could be bitter about a lot of things from my past where situations didn't really play out as I had planned or hoped; but I'm not, because every thing that has happened brought me to where I am today. And I'm in a really good place, in case you were wondering.

Patience and faith in the Lord's timing is key. Easier said than done, but I have a solid testimony that "some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." - Elder Holland

All of my previous trials have turned out to be a huge blessing. I'm so grateful for where I'm at and how I got here. And sorry for the fast and testimony meeting ramble.. 

Anyway, not sure where I was going with this post, just wanted to say that I am so content right now.

 Feels good that I've finally found my niche in this world. Feels good to have so many close friends who have helped me out more than they will ever know. Feels good to drive around in December with my window rolled down, and no snow on the ground. Feels good to have a job that I LOVE. Feels good to be noticed and appreciated. Feels good to date again. Feels good to get the butterflies every time he texts me, and especially if it's to say, "I think I like you." Feels good to be loved. Feels good to be close to the Lord and receptive to promptings. I just feel good, there's no other way to say it. So blessed and so overwhelmed with gladness.  

This girl is on top of the world.

p.s. here's that jr. high school playlist aforementioned:

-Senses Fail "Bloody Romance" 

-Suguarcult "Pretty Girl"

-Something Corporate "Hurricane" 

-Motion City Soundtrack "Favorite Accident"

-Unwritten Law "Seein Red"

-The Used "The Taste of Ink" "Blue and Yellow"

-Good Charlotte "The Anthem" (hahahaha) "Girls Don't Like Boys"

-Armor for Sleep "Dream to Make Believe" 

-Dashboard Confessional "The Best Deceptions"

-Early November "All We Ever Needed" "Ever So Sweet"