I'm gonna to smile cause I deserve to.

You know that moment when you listen to a song and a lyric just hits you.. Like you were meant to hear that? That happened to me yesterday when I was driving home from my LAST day at work. "I'm gonna smile because I deserve to." and I do! Holy crap, let's just talk about this last year for a second.. It's been awful! It sucks when you think you're doing all the right things, but nothing ever works out. But it finally clicked a few weeks ago when I was having a really rough time with everything; being in Utah, working at a crappy job, etc. I just wasn't ever happy. So there I was, stopped at a stop light, driving around on my lunch break, and I just broke down. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father that I would find happiness in what ever I did, and that I would know what to do and where to go. It was a short, but heart-felt prayer that ended quite abruptly as the car behind me honked to get a move on it. And literally the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the Arizona licence plate on the car in front of me. ARIZONA! How did that not click before? I went there right after I came home from my mission and loved it. I was stupid not to stay, but little ole' me decided that if I moved to Provo, I'd be with the man of my dreams and we'd get married and live happily ever after. Turns out he definitely wasn't the man of my dreams, he was actually a manipulative jerk. So living here has just reminded me of everything that never worked out, and that's hard to accept. Thank goodness I was living with my sister and brother-in-law who kept me sane throughout this whole year. I don't know what I would have done without them.

Back to Arizona.. After I got back to work, I put in my two weeks notice. I was planning on living with my sister that lives in Arizona for the summer anyway to help her with the kids, but had NO idea what to do after that. So now I know I'm staying there for the long run. I met a lot of people last year when I went, I love the singles ward, love everything! I'm moving in with one of my good friends from there after the summer and couldn't be more excited. Things are looking up for this girl, and I'm smiling.