then & now

Holy flashback! I don't even know how I stumbled upon old music that I listened to in Jr. High, but I did. I was browsing YouTube for some jams that would get my creative juices flowing so I could start blogging again. (I hate that I always make promises that I'll be better at blogging, and then a month goes by.. and another.. and another....) It's not that I don't have an exciting life, 'cause for the first time in my life I really do! I have a lot to say, it's just trying to figure out how to say it-- which is why I could never be a writer, it'd take me decades to finish a book. 

I had quite the day today, though. I caught myself thinking about my past; where I was, where I worked, what I was doing, where I was going, etc. And I connected it to my life right now. Essentially how the events from my past have shaped and molded me into who I am today. How insightful of me, right?!

But really, that saying that we all love to hear, "everything happens for a reason", is so true. I could be bitter about a lot of things from my past where situations didn't really play out as I had planned or hoped; but I'm not, because every thing that has happened brought me to where I am today. And I'm in a really good place, in case you were wondering.

Patience and faith in the Lord's timing is key. Easier said than done, but I have a solid testimony that "some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." - Elder Holland

All of my previous trials have turned out to be a huge blessing. I'm so grateful for where I'm at and how I got here. And sorry for the fast and testimony meeting ramble.. 

Anyway, not sure where I was going with this post, just wanted to say that I am so content right now.

 Feels good that I've finally found my niche in this world. Feels good to have so many close friends who have helped me out more than they will ever know. Feels good to drive around in December with my window rolled down, and no snow on the ground. Feels good to have a job that I LOVE. Feels good to be noticed and appreciated. Feels good to date again. Feels good to get the butterflies every time he texts me, and especially if it's to say, "I think I like you." Feels good to be loved. Feels good to be close to the Lord and receptive to promptings. I just feel good, there's no other way to say it. So blessed and so overwhelmed with gladness.  

This girl is on top of the world.

p.s. here's that jr. high school playlist aforementioned:

-Senses Fail "Bloody Romance" 

-Suguarcult "Pretty Girl"

-Something Corporate "Hurricane" 

-Motion City Soundtrack "Favorite Accident"

-Unwritten Law "Seein Red"

-The Used "The Taste of Ink" "Blue and Yellow"

-Good Charlotte "The Anthem" (hahahaha) "Girls Don't Like Boys"

-Armor for Sleep "Dream to Make Believe" 

-Dashboard Confessional "The Best Deceptions"

-Early November "All We Ever Needed" "Ever So Sweet" 

Dating 101?????

I may be no expert at dating, but I have a few things to discuss regarding said topic;

1st: If you're going to dress in senior prom attire, let your date know so she doesn't dress in lime green skinnies and flip flops. Head's will be turning. Or better yet! How about you never wear that on a first date, anyway. Especially if dinner is at Texas Roadhouse.
2nd: If a girl says she's tired and it's only 9:30-- she just wants to go home.
3rd: Most likely she doesn't want to ride on the back of your seafoam green, 1976 mo-ped- so don't suggest it. But in the off chance that she agrees, don't ever squeeze her thigh at the stoplight. Or drive 30mph over the speed limit, and ceasing to slow down for the speed bumps. She doesn't want to die, and the landing isn't all that comfortable, believe it or not.
4th: If the first part of the date didn't work out in your favor, then she definitely doesn't want to stay and watch a 2 hour movie. Even if you have the "sickest projector, big screen, set-up." She said she was tired an hour ago, remember?
5th: BODY LANGUAGE. Again; I'm no expert, but I'm willing to bet that if a girl has her arms folded throughout the whole movie, she's not into you bro. Also, probably not a good sign if she seems to be migrating to the other side of the couch, inch by inch. Just a thought. Jesse broke it down quite nicely when he said, "Now I don't speak Spanish, Japanese or French, but the way that body's talkin' definitely makes sense now. It's her, her body, her body, her body language." See? We're not that complicated.
6th: DON'T EVER RUB HER STOMACH. Is she pregnant? NO! Cut the crap!
7th: If you lean in to kiss her and she turns her head, she doesn't want to kiss you. So stop there. Don't attempt for a second try, or a THIRD. . ..... !!
8th: Expect the 30 minute drive to her house to be a little quiet and uncomfortable as she probably won't want to make any more conversation.
So, just a few tips/pointers/whathaveyou. 

And if you're wondering.. Yes, that all happened in one night. Blind dates are the best!!! #not 
I'm pretty proud of myself though. Usually I am such a push over, hence why I kept agreeing to what he had in mind even when I reallllly wanted to go home, but I stood my ground at the end! It's like he went into creep mode as soon as the movie started, and originally the plan was to watch 15 minutes of it so I could get the whole "experience", and then he would take me home. Well, 15 minutes pass and I said,
"I really should be getting home now." (Plus it was pretty late anyway.) And he starts up with these creepy hand gestures, touching my stomach and whatnot, just weird things like that and he said,
"OhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHh please stay! It's such a good movie, good acting. You'd love it."
"I've seen it." (which was true. It was the Count of Monte Cristo, who hasn't seen it?!)
"Just stay, we'll have so much fun." (?????!!!) 
"I'm really tired."
...... he doesn't move. So we stay. This happened like 3 times during the movie, he is stubborn! And I guess he felt that if he got me to stay after he kept pushing it, that if he tried 3 times to kiss me I'd eventually give in to that too??
Anyway, so he tries to kiss me when the movie ended, I moved my head. A few seconds later he does the same thing and his face is directly in front of mine and he's making weird noises, then I stood up and left him sitting on the couch. He comes creepin' behind and tickles my back, (eeekkk), and whispers something that I can't understand in my ear. I turn and walk away. Comes creepin' behind again, puts his arm around me and moves me closer into him, again with the weird noises, and he leans in for another attempt. I turn away for THE THIRD TIME, remove his arm from the premises, and said,
"Stop! Please take me home now." 
And that was that. It was a long drive home, but I have never been more relieved to walk in the door to my sister's house! I was nice to him without leading him on, so I'm not sure why he was so persistent.  But sheeeeesh, that was a little much! Still a little uneasy knowing that he has my address and number. Oh well.

And yesterday as my little nephew and I were driving home he said, 
"Laurel, how come you don't go on dates with boys that you like?" 
"Great question!" 
"When I'm older, I will go on a date with you." 
haha, sweet boy. hopefully I won't be single by the time he is of dating age.

So there ya have it, the story of my life. 
makes for good stories to tell the grandchildren though, right?

Cowboy taaaake meeee away.

I'm boycotting Facebook to bring some blogger back! (Holla, Leah!!) 
Just needed to say that. 

So, if you remember from this post- I mentioned that all I want to do is go country dancing and marry a cowboy. That statement still remains true. Something about those rugged, wrangler wearin', bowlegged, stetson wearin', men really turns me on.
Bonus if he has a nice butt. I'm just saying..
Today I was reminded of this. I nanny for another family other than for my sister, and as we were watching Toy Story, the little boy looked up at me and said,
"Where's your cowboy?" (don't ask me where that came from..?)
But I said,
"Ohhh, I don't know, but I want one!!"
"So.. WISH for one!"
little does he know I wish for one every night. 

So cowboy; wherever you are, please come take me away.

jus' a friendly reminder.

Remember that book, You are Special? I know you do, everyone has heard of it. Well, I was reading it to my four year old nephew not too long ago, and he would say, "Why are they so mean to him?" He was really heartbroken with the way the Wemmicks (sp?) were treating this poor little guy. I read the part where he see's Eli, the wood worker, and Eli explains to him that he is special because he made him, and he was his. So Brody looks up at me after I finish the book and asks, "Did that guy make me too?" "Am I special?" And I gave him the whole, "Heavenly Father made you in his image, he knows you and loves you, and you are SO special to him" talk. Something like that. Seriously, top ten most precious moments in my life. I love my job.

But anyway, I was just thinking about that today, and how that is so true. Heavenly Father doesn't mess up, he knew what he was doing. We are all so different, but we're all special to Him. I need to be reminded of this all the time, especially because being a girl, I tend to pick faults with myself all the time. I might not be the tall, tan, skinny, blonde chick that the guys seem to flock over; but I'm the confident, caring, happy, down to earth chick that any guy would be lucky to have! 

Moral(s) of the story: Don't pick faults with yourself or with others, everyone has their own talents and struggles. But we're all the same to Him, and that's all that matters. (ew, that sounded some-what poetic. ..non-intentional)

& I just needed to get that off of my chest. 

goodnight.

SUMMER 2012 BUCKET LIST.

Maybe you noticed on the right side bar that I posted my summer bucket list.. maybe you didn't. But I got this idea from Kari, and I thought it would be fun to make my own as well so I could get the most out of my summer experience. 
Actions completed:
-Go to a concert (check) 
-Pool party (check) 


--My sister, her friends, and I went to the Daughtry concert on Monday. Leah asked me 3 months ago if I would want to go to this concert with her, and I did! He's reallly good live and puts on a really fun show. I had a blast! Thanks for the "monthly bonus" sis!! Ha ha. (just kidding) 
-- On Tuesday for FHE we had a pool party. Which is pretty common here in AZ when everyone has a pool and it's a million degrees outside. I knew this would be an easy one to cross off of the list. So much fun though! I can't think of anything better than swimming, grilled hot dogs, volleyball, hot tubs, and shirtless men. Hello summer! 

All of the girls at Daughtry. 

There he is!

FHE is so fuuuun. Making a farmhouse out of boxes.. ha ha

We definitely had the best act of the night. It's hard being the "hands" .. you can't see a thing!

Brody and I would bond while the other kids were at school.

Playing with sick baby. Pretty sure everyone has had the flu/cold this whole week, and I have yet to get sick. Knock on wood.

ahhhaha. I can't get enough of this picture. Don't you just want to pinch his cheeks?! 

remember?

hi. 
remember when i blogged yesterday? well, i'm blogging again today. i know, right?!
remember when i said i love laying out by the pool? well, today i got my first sunburn of the season. feels pretty good. not great, just good.
remember how i love country music? well, i was listening to some billy currington today and i'm pretty sure i'm in love. with his voice, not him. if i could marry it, i probably would.
remember how i'm a nanny? its the best. especially when brody tells me i look pretty when i didn't do anything with my hair and i practically rolled out of bed. what a cutie.
remember when i said i love my singles ward? well, the talent show is tomorrow and my friend volunteered me to be in it. what am i doing, you ask? just a midget dance. no biggie.
remember how it was mother's day last week? well, i have the best mom ever. she's my rock.
remember how i always use capital letters? well, today i didn't. and it feels weird.
remember how it's the weekend?! well, i'm about to have me some fuuuUuuun.
bye.

just found this on google images and thought i'd share. you're welcome.

brother, she's country.

I have lived in Arizona for a total of 25 days and I can't believe how much has changed, how much I have changed! ..and for the better, in case you were wondering. If I would have known 6 months ago that my life would turn out the way it has, I probably would have been able to endure my trials a little bit better. (Does that make sense?) Back to the point, I love it here. I love everything about this place. I feel so content with living here, and that's a first. I've literally been every where since I've graduated, and never felt like where I was was where I needed to be. Obviously I've learned along the way, and have met amazing people every where I've been, but living here feels so so so right. My sister was talking to me the other day about my mission, and asked how I was doing. It's been a little over a year since I have been home, and it's still stings to talk about it. Mostly because I would be coming home in 3 short months had I been able to stay. She said, "Do you have any idea why you needed to be home?" And I didn't. Sometimes you just have to go with it. If you know you're prompted to do something, you do it, even if you're not sure why. She then said, "This might sound stupid, but maybe you had to come home to help me, because I don't know what I would have done without you." Something like that, at least. So, I feel good. I probably won't ever know, but at least I know that I was able to help my sister out these last few summers while her husband is gone. Because I don't know how ANYONE can take care of 4 kids without a husband for half of the year. So moving here has been a good thing for the both of us, to say the least.
Quick recap of the past 25 days:

• I've gone all country. It flows through my veins and consumes every part of my body. I used to hate country music, dancing, and everything else.. but Queen Creek has changed me. I don't even mind going 5mph driving behind tractors anymore. And all I want to do is go country dancing and marry a cowboy. 
• My ward is the bomb, no exaggeration.
• My skin is getting color again! I love laying out by the pool everyday.
• I'm getting used to the 100-105 degree weather. Which is good, because the 120 degree weather is coming up shortly. More pool days to come! 
• I've become the soccer mom.. hahaha. Love driving the mini-van dropping the kids off to dance and baseball. I look pretty awesome too, obviously. 
• I've lost 8 pounds since I've been here! Also, starting these workout videos to build some major muscle so I can beat Larissa in an arm wrestle when I get home. 
• and I've been the happiest I've ever been. EVER. :) 

Until next time... Keep it real, live the dream. 

I'm going to go listen to some Tim McGraw now. 

I'm gonna to smile cause I deserve to.

You know that moment when you listen to a song and a lyric just hits you.. Like you were meant to hear that? That happened to me yesterday when I was driving home from my LAST day at work. "I'm gonna smile because I deserve to." and I do! Holy crap, let's just talk about this last year for a second.. It's been awful! It sucks when you think you're doing all the right things, but nothing ever works out. But it finally clicked a few weeks ago when I was having a really rough time with everything; being in Utah, working at a crappy job, etc. I just wasn't ever happy. So there I was, stopped at a stop light, driving around on my lunch break, and I just broke down. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father that I would find happiness in what ever I did, and that I would know what to do and where to go. It was a short, but heart-felt prayer that ended quite abruptly as the car behind me honked to get a move on it. And literally the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the Arizona licence plate on the car in front of me. ARIZONA! How did that not click before? I went there right after I came home from my mission and loved it. I was stupid not to stay, but little ole' me decided that if I moved to Provo, I'd be with the man of my dreams and we'd get married and live happily ever after. Turns out he definitely wasn't the man of my dreams, he was actually a manipulative jerk. So living here has just reminded me of everything that never worked out, and that's hard to accept. Thank goodness I was living with my sister and brother-in-law who kept me sane throughout this whole year. I don't know what I would have done without them.

Back to Arizona.. After I got back to work, I put in my two weeks notice. I was planning on living with my sister that lives in Arizona for the summer anyway to help her with the kids, but had NO idea what to do after that. So now I know I'm staying there for the long run. I met a lot of people last year when I went, I love the singles ward, love everything! I'm moving in with one of my good friends from there after the summer and couldn't be more excited. Things are looking up for this girl, and I'm smiling.

free entertainment.

Work is taking over my life, literally. Most days are pretty boring and pretty repetitive, but as of lately it's been pretty great. My co-workers and I just realized that we have the capability to record telephone calls and voicemails when we're on the phone, and it's the best discovery we've ever made. Here are some examples of the voicemails and conversations that we've recorded to share with each other:

(an actual conversation) "Listen here, CrystAL.. I don't have no money, so you give me the name and the number of the doctor that's gunna see me fo free!" (Spoken with a southern accent, obviously)

(this is someone's actual answering machine.. my co-worker, Molly, had to leave a message and I'm honestly not sure how she kept her cool through it to even leave a voicemail. It sounds like a Southern Baptist lady singing the song, "Mary Did You Know.") Here it goes.. "Mary did YOU KNOWW, that YOURRRR baaaaaaBY boy, would someDAY walk on wateeeerrrrr. Mary did YOU KNOW, that your baaaaBYYY boy would save OUR SON's and DAUUUUUUUGHTERRRRRSSSSS! I know you was givin your praise to the Lord, I know you'z ready to praise the Lord! Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience, have a blessed day! HalleLUUUUJAAAAAYH!" (wow.. it's really hard to explain through typing. I love those Southern Baptists though, my favorite clients.)

(And then there's an answering machine that I came across.. creepy as H.) "Hey, this is Mike*, leave me a message and I'll get back to you. ..... ..... ..... ..... ... And if you're calling about money.. All guys, I charge a 50% interest rate, and all females, I ... ... it's a 'no honey, no money' deal... and that goes for every one." WHAT THE?! Sounds like prostitution! We're required to leave a message, and I was legitimately scared to. Tempted to leave another person's extension. Sorry Mike, no honey from me, ya creep!

So, you know, sometimes my job sucks but it's fun when all day my co-workers and I are transferring phone conversations/voicemails to each other to listen to. Keeps us entertained.

*His name wasn't actually Mike.

truths.

the truth is..

I suck at blogging. Didn't once post for the month of December, and it was the best month I've ever had.

I'm so glad my brother is home from his mission. Even though he misses the mish like crazy, it's so good to have my best friend back again.

I have a hard time finding motivation at work. I do the same thing all day, every day. I need a change.

I wish I were still in Idaho right now.

I want every weekend to be like last weekend.

I kind of/sort of, already miss him.

I should be cleaning right now.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life, where I'm going, or what I want to do.

I don't need to figure it out right now. It will all work out how it's supposed to, when it's supposed to.

the truth is.. I think this will be my best year, yet.